American man circa 2009

Ever since Homer Simpson said his first “duoh!” Americans have cheerfully applauded the rise of simplistic, stupid male heroes. We love to laugh at Michael from the Office who remains constantly oblivious to his own shortcomings and gallantly waves his quixotic sword at windmills. We adore the family guy who makes no excuse for his behavior and openly embraces his bad habits including even hating his own daughter. Of course this love of clowns, caricatures and buffoons is what gave us the long, long reign of George W. Bush who embodies all of these qualities in the position of running the country! But George W. couldn’t have come onto the scene without some prepping of the country’s’ subconscious first. So when exactly did this idea of the American and British white male as being clueless, self absorbed and somehow deeply unhappy despite the laughs – start?
Perhaps it began back in the days during World War II when the men were truly men off fighting a real and bloody war that everyone was a part of, the women stayed home but for the first time they worked- Rosie the Riveter was born and females gained a small amount of openly visible power. In the past days of history women still held power and were often just as ambitious as the men plotting and scheming behind the scenes to make everything work the way they envisioned but never before had they been acknowledged of this kind of power or skill. It did not matter what happened behind closed doors only that the men ran the puppet show and the audience liked it that way.
During WWII women wanted to help and they did- working in factories making weapons, working in offices and at skilled trades generally keeping the country running until their husbands, brothers and sons came home. But when they did come home after all the hugs and kisses and the great baby boom had begun these same men realized that something had happened, a shift, a change that wouldn’t go away- after all everyone knows that once you’ve tasted freedom even the most comfortable prison is just that a prison. During the fifties women made a good show of going back to the old days, they stayed home, raised families and made sure dinner was on the table at 6pm but underneath the surface all kinds of exciting things were happening the seeds had been planted and roots were spreading – women’s rights, civil rights and the very beginning of a new way of life had begun poking out from the soil unfurling its tiny new leaves. The 1950’s was a decade of secrets- husbands cheated on their wives with other women and sometimes men, women longed for something to call their own separate from family, African Americans decided that they had had enough, children began listening to rock and roll and experimenting with drugs but all of this was kept quiet – no one spoke of the wife who took valium to keep her sanity, the husband who worked late every night because he was at his girlfriend’s house, the daughter who got pregnant was sent away to stay with relatives for a year, all of these things were private issues that were not allowed to cause a ripple over the surface of the bright blue backyard pools springing up in suburbs all across the country.
And then came the 60’s- that great decade of hope, unrest and danger mixed with an excitement the country had not known since the days of the civil war. The 1960’s don’t need much explaining – everyone knows the story- it’s been repeated so much that to those of us born a generation too late it has the flavor of mythology- and nothing can ever live up to those glory days- ever. So try as we might and we have believe me- nothing we can do will ever live up to the standard set then. The fallout from the 60’s is still happening largely because those irrepressible baby boomers just won’t shut up! Each life stage must be examined and learned from in great depth, every nuance of their lives is somehow more important than any other generations- books must be written, plays and movies made to capture forever that brief period in our history that ushered in the world as we know it.
One of the results of this fallout was the white American (and British) male persona in our culture. He went suddenly from being the man of the house, the provider, the protector of the weak, (his family) the center of the universe to being a subject of derision and ridicule. Literature from the 60’s repeatedly points this out in characters such as the father in The Graduate who is oblivious to his son’s personal journey of self discovery, Willie Lowman in Death of a Salesman who pretends to have it all figured out but alas he doesn’t at all, in Love Story, Portnoys Complaint, and many more the father is a distant and uncommunicative person who is a as far removed from his child’s struggles as a relative in the old country. Or he is a blowhard who stubbornly refuses to grow with the times- the Archie Bunker archetype. The son has figured out that it’s all a game and furthermore that it’s a game he doesn’t want to play at least not by the old rules. And so the son sets off on his great adventure of the soul- desperately determined to find his bliss. On the Road, Easy Rider etc.
But as always happens the son must grow up into a man and these same bright young men who were so determined to prove their fathers wrong eventually turned into them. Not exactly of course- they joined the rat race and had the families and did what was expected of them but they did it in a different way- they made choices, they didn’t mind if their wives worked not that they had a choice since women were on their own voyage of self discovery, they talked to their children and respected their rebellious teenage choices, they listened and they guided their children instead of ordering them and setting rigid expectations. But somehow their masculinity suffered in an irreparable way.
Author Richard Russo tackles this issues repeatedly throughout his books as he portrays the father as a blue collar man who has earned his masculinity through his hands and his genuine appeal with other rough and bawdy men while the son is nearly always college educated and a professor- someone who has found his masculinity through his mind and thoughts and is often cut off from authentic relationships with his male colleagues. They are dominated quite happily by their educated and beautiful wives who just smile at their childish antics while the father figure has often been thrown out of his own home for these same behaviors by a strong but unyielding woman who expects “more” from her husband.
There seems to be something in the masculine experience which he must face and overcome –a hero’s journey of some sort must occur for the man to feel truly at home within his sphere and without this tension he is not truly a man to himself or to others. Many baby boomers tried to recreate their father’s WWII war experiences which no one can argue really did make them come back as men, with spiritual journeys, activism, drugs, rock and roll and although some did fight in Vietnam they came back even more damaged in spirit because they were not respected for undergoing a genuinely difficult and life changing experience by their peers. But the non Vietnam soldiers- the ones who ultimately ended up running the corporate world and the yuppie universe as we know it- their adventures didn’t quite work so they retreated even further into the mind through technology-touting it as the last frontier- but sadly it was settled by geeks not cowboys. Hard lessons about life and death were not learned. Relying only on oneself to survive was not even a part of this world which was all about interconnectedness!
The topic of technology and gender deserves its own essay so I will not address it any further here but will say that it has just helped push the stereotype of the stupid white male even further and what’s more the white males seem to enjoy it! They love the Simpson’s, The Family Guy, The Office etc. They rarely care if their wives make more money than they do. Perhaps they feel it’s all in fun and it doesn’t really mean anything…but it does.
It means that today’s white males undervalue themselves and their experiences and they have chosen to sit back and passively watch as society reforms itself under new management- our new president is African American, women are increasing their power everywhere, everyone knows it is only a matter of time before Indians, Hispanics and Asians sweep the job markets in specialized fields. The white American male needs to integrate his fathers’ experiences with his own and understand that a balance must be achieved through these two extremes. He must listen but also demand, set high expectations but also encourage discussion, and most importantly he must send his sons away from home when they reach adulthood and force them to find their way back. There should be no safety nets allowed.